Aslan

whatever it is, it is progressive.

i woke this morning and the first thing i did was go and check in on Azzy.  i am really sad because he is now having problems with his right front foot now, and he is weaker.  i had really hoped that this was just a one time thing.  something that was not progressive, and that he would get better.  at this point, it doesn’t look this way.

i hate the fact that he’s in a room isolated from the rest of us, but i’m not sure that he would be able to get to his food or the litterbox if he’s not.  i also hate the fact that my time visiting with him is limited because he’s not out here with us, but overall, i think it is for the best.  i may put Pannda in with him or Eli, whom he’s both close with.

i hate this.  absolutely hate this!!

it just seems so damn unfair.  Azzy has overcome so much in his short life, and then to have it end prematurely seems even more unfair and it just really pisses me off!  i figured that he would be with me alot longer than this, especially with the recommendation to rehome him and having him listed and looking for a year and half and nothing coming up.  it seemed that the rest of his life was to be spent shared with mine, but then again, maybe it was because fate knew it was going to be short.  He is just so much like the rest of us: wanting to be loved and that’s how he is when u walk in the room.

it’s apparent that he can’t really groom himself anymore, and so i pet him all i can and give him his favorite scratches!

but seeing that right foot now knuckling this morning, really  hit me hard.

i know if i put Eli in with him, they will cuddle and groom each other, and i think right now, that that will bring Azzy alot more joy than anything i can give him.

i think about taking his picture or shooting a video of him to show u and others, but the thought of having what’s going on replicated in a foto or video is just to much for me to handle.  i can’t bare the image of it, and so i don’t.  it seems like it would be disrespectful.

at this point, i am wondering how much more time we have with him, and that it doesn’t seem at least that he’s in any pain.  i guess the real limit will be how much i can take verses Azzy.

this all just tooo hard dammit!!  i can’t write anymore….it’s so damn UNFAIR!!!

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