Azzy last winter playing

well…at least i think an answer.  i looked  at Aslan, and upon closer inspection there appears to be something like a lump growing under his right shoulder blade.  you have to look really closely and use some gentle touching to assess, but it makes sense since at his initial vet visit to try and determine what was causing his neurological issues, the vet gave an intelligent guess that she thought the problem was something going on in the nerves that cross over at the shoulder blades, and then branch out to all the different areas of the body.  so i am thinking that my vet’s intelligent guess is correct.  however, after reassessing today, i’m not 100% certain, and it’s very frustrating.

after this unsure discovery, i have been observing Aslan more closely over the last few days, and his behavior has a few more changes.  he’s not coming and seeing me to get pet like he was previously, and it’s also apparent that there’s some discomfort, if not pain, when he’s trying to lay down, or i should say achieve a restful position because it seems that laying down and really getting comfortable isn’t possible for him anymore.

aslan with his two siblings pannd and eli. they were what i called the three amigos!

with the job that i now work, i have learned that generally the developmentally disabled audiences don’t have the kind of life span many of the rest of us have; that they’re disabilities generally lead to the developments of other health issues in life.  Aslan, was notorious for holding his bladder for long periods of time.  this is also a common occurrence in the human developmentally disabled populations as well; my theory is the less control they feel they have over everything about them, the more they try to exert control over whatever they can.  because of his bladder holding, Aslan has severe bladder infectiosn and also litter box issues from the time he was a little kitten.  his slowness in development becamse apparent later when kittens were doing things he couldn’t do here in the house.  he did manage to eventually catch up however.

Azzy could be silly when he played but in order to get him to play, all attention had to be focused on him, and he never got really wild and crazy like other cats do

because of my background, a part of me can logically assess Azzy’s current situation as a natural part of his life cycle due to his disabilities.  but then there’s the other part that involves my heart.  a big part, and it just absolutely crushes me.

i have been thru so much with him, and his issues, especially the litterbox one, hasn’t been easy.  he is in part the reason why i put new floors in my house, and to this day, i’m sure there is some “cat odor” in my house directly due to his bladder issues.  yet, despite all this, i can’t have imagined my life without him.  for a time, based on the vet’s recommendation, we were looking at rehoming him and my other cat Pannda who has had his share of bladder issues, but no one ever showed interest or the ability to care for them as they needed, and I wound up making the decision of keeping them-even if it meant 8 cats and me and dogs in a 38 ft 5th wheeler-rather than surrendering them to a rescue where most likely they would never of been adopted, and would have spent alot of time in the smaller cages.  the change for the two would have been so shocking, i just couldnt’ do it.

on the other hand, he still has an appetite and lets me know when he wants to eat.  he will even come and get me, but then after eating, he becomes sedontary again, and struggles to bathe, but doesn’t acomplish much.

my thoughts on what to do concerning Aslan, change on a daily basis right now-probably because i’m home this week to work on the house and try and get things somewhat back in order.  one day i feel that i’m letting him suffer, the next day i see something in him that tells me not yet.  it’s very frustrating, and i feel like both he and i are just hanging in limbo.

years ago when i finally put my dog Keehta to sleep, it was a huge relief because it was very apparent in the end that she was suffering.  that experience forever imprinted on me, and i have always been determined not to let that happen again with any other pets.

Aslan in his younger days. so handsome. to look at him you would never guess he had his issues.

this last february i let Greta my greyhound go, and felt it was the right time as well, and that i had kept her from experiencing any tremendous suffering with the choice that i made.  i felt very comforted in that knowledge, but with Azzy right now, it just isn’t clear.  i watch him get up and down slowly, and i wonder if the time to do something to end his suffering is now, and then later in the day, he comes find me to let me know he wants to eat, and follows me to bathroom where he is secluded to eat on his own.

is this sign of motivation to still eat enuff?  i don’t know.  he still isn’t grooming, and he does not play or really even go sit in a window anymore to watch the goings on outside.  a week or two ago, he was at least still doing that as well.  he is coming to see me again, as he came to visit me last night for a long pet and purred tremendously, but animals can be so stoic when it comes to discomfort and pain.

it just leaves me hanging.  i dont’ want him to be in pain, but yet it doesn’t seem he as of yet has quite given up the fight, and so i have decided to use his determination to eat as a measurement as to when it’s time to let him go.  it’s truly heartbreaking.

this time last year, he was in great health and i was trying to determine what was to become of his future.  now, once again permanently ensconced in my home, i have no idea how many days are left in Azzy’s future.  life is truly full of some very cruel ironies.  😦

He looks like Hell

Aslan’s not grooming himself, but he’s still eating, and getting around very slowly. he is also able to get down off a box as well, but he seems dazed, takes things very slowly…..and looks like hell.
i’m actually considering having him shaved. i also am considering taking him with to the vet this saturday morning at 11am along with ashley who has her regular checkup, and has been loosing weight recently-another concern with another cat, just to see what they say and to see where he’s at with his weight.

i just don’t know what to think when it comes to Azzy. he does still come and see me usually in the evenings when i’m kickin’ back. he still loves a good scratch on his back and around his neck.
i thought about taking the shears to him, with as messy as his fur has gotten lately. i figure if nothing else, maybe i’ll at least make him feel a bit better and maybe just a smidge cooler.
he sleeps an awful lot. pretty much all day especially when i have him isolated. i try to keep him balanced between being in his room alone and being with the rest of us. he seems to enjoy his time with us, but it’s become imparative to have time where he’s alone to make sure he eats and drinks, otherwise the other kits eat his food as he takes it slow, intermittently thru out the day.
all of this is very frustrating, heartbreaking, and like walking thru the unknown. it’s hard to tell what, if anything, makes him more comfy and happy. it’s all just a guessing game, and i worry about if i’m letting it drag out much to his discomfort.
what i would really like right now, are some easy answers, and none are forthcoming.


whatever it is, it is progressive.

i woke this morning and the first thing i did was go and check in on Azzy.  i am really sad because he is now having problems with his right front foot now, and he is weaker.  i had really hoped that this was just a one time thing.  something that was not progressive, and that he would get better.  at this point, it doesn’t look this way.

i hate the fact that he’s in a room isolated from the rest of us, but i’m not sure that he would be able to get to his food or the litterbox if he’s not.  i also hate the fact that my time visiting with him is limited because he’s not out here with us, but overall, i think it is for the best.  i may put Pannda in with him or Eli, whom he’s both close with.

i hate this.  absolutely hate this!!

it just seems so damn unfair.  Azzy has overcome so much in his short life, and then to have it end prematurely seems even more unfair and it just really pisses me off!  i figured that he would be with me alot longer than this, especially with the recommendation to rehome him and having him listed and looking for a year and half and nothing coming up.  it seemed that the rest of his life was to be spent shared with mine, but then again, maybe it was because fate knew it was going to be short.  He is just so much like the rest of us: wanting to be loved and that’s how he is when u walk in the room.

it’s apparent that he can’t really groom himself anymore, and so i pet him all i can and give him his favorite scratches!

but seeing that right foot now knuckling this morning, really  hit me hard.

i know if i put Eli in with him, they will cuddle and groom each other, and i think right now, that that will bring Azzy alot more joy than anything i can give him.

i think about taking his picture or shooting a video of him to show u and others, but the thought of having what’s going on replicated in a foto or video is just to much for me to handle.  i can’t bare the image of it, and so i don’t.  it seems like it would be disrespectful.

at this point, i am wondering how much more time we have with him, and that it doesn’t seem at least that he’s in any pain.  i guess the real limit will be how much i can take verses Azzy.

this all just tooo hard dammit!!  i can’t write anymore….it’s so damn UNFAIR!!!

major upset

santa azzy, xmas '09

well what i thought would be a post of some exciting news down the road has turned out to be not so great news….ummm…pretty bad news actually, and i’m very sad and unhappy about it, but unfortunately it’s beyond my control.  after many phone calls today and talking to both a forclosure specialist and my lender, ok most of the information came from the forclosure specialist as lender wasn’t really helpful :-S, it has been determined that there’s nothing i can do to head off the forclosure, and not only is there nothing i can do-no programs i qualify for, etc- but it has been recommended that i be out by the selling date if not shortly after.  apparently, colorado doesn’t have any requirements as to how much time a person is given after they forclose on the property and so they could literally give me 24 hours to get completely packed up and out, or they change the locks and i’m stuck loosing everything; everything locked inside including all the kitties and pups here at Planet Kitty!

and so completely out of ideas, i called my big sister for a shoulder to cry on, and she helped me come up with a plan.  unfortunately, i’m going to have to rehome 3 of my kitties and this i’m not happy about AT ALL.  those 3 are Pannda, Aslan, and Murphy.  i’ll get to the details on that in a few minutes.

the plan is this:  in a month approximately, i will be relocating to the big city up the road and will be moving into a fairly good sized motorhome with my critters.  i’ve talked about this before, and it looks like it’s going to become a reality.  so now the search for a motorhome is on, and not just any motorhome, but a big one.  after talking to some RV yards, i was given the advice to go to a certain website, and that motorhomes for sale just over the stateline in utah, would be a might cheaper for me and i’d be more likely to find what i want at the price i need.  they were right.  i’ve found 2 possibilities, and will be making a long one day road trip to check them out very soon. 

and so this means alot of packing, downsizing, and all if it in about a month.  ugh….i say UGH!  *heavy sigh*

i’ve been wanting to change my locale for sometime now, but not like this.  i guess that’s the great thing about a recession/depression is that it drastically relocates people like crazy; not to mention create alot of homeless, poor, destitute, etc. 

the good thing is, that this move will place me closer to family who are helpful.  it also means i’ll still have a decent roof over my head, get to keep the majority of the critters here at Planet Kitty, and will be relocating to a town with alot more employment potential.  i will be able to find something to to tie me over until something more professional in my field comes along.  so for the most part, aside from loosing the only home i’ve ever owned; a home that i used my inheritance to buy; a home that i have spent almost 13 years in to the day when it forcloses; i’m lucky.   well that’s what they say.  but we must include here that i’ll be loosing 3 of my own family members and that’s just as difficult as well. 


i don’t think i’ve blogged yet about Pannda and Aslan.  they are 2 special needs kitties.  Aslan came to me developmentally delayed.  i saw him in a petstore window and new he was farr too small to be there, and got  him out of there for a nominal fee, and took him home.  for about the first 5 years with him, life would be a challenge.  he not only was develop mentally delayed but had litterbox issues, was prone to bladder infections, and would stalk the hallways at night howling his head off.  it was thru the change of a vet that we started making some progress with Aslan about 3 years after i got him.  via behavior modification, he eventually gained confidence, used the litter box, and finally began catching up with other kittens that i was fostering at the time.  he’s been very special to me, but in 2009 he developed some pretty severe bladder infections and it was recommended that he be placed in a home with less pets.  ironically, he decided to proove the vet wrong, and has done wonderful this last year.  he is on a special diet for his bladder infections, and will be for the rest of his life.

Pannda, is another kitty who is very close to Aslan and also is special needs.  in the summer of ’09, Pannda came down with a severe bladder infection on a weekend and had to be rushed to the ER Vet.  the following day he was moved to my regular vet, but everytime they would take out his catheter, he would plug up, so the dr has to go into his bladder and clean it out.  Pannda was literally full of crystals and they had to scoop out what was like sand in his bladder.  the vet said he was just full of it and she’d never seen anything like it before.  Pannda is also on the same diet as Aslan, and will be for the rest of his life.  i got Pannda, about 6 months after Aslan, and he came from a friend who’s semi feral kitty had kittens.  when i first got him, it was actually believed-even by the vet-that Pannda was a she not a he, but as HE got older, it became apparent that Pannda was all boy! lol

handsome Pannda

as i mentioned previously, Pannda and Aslan are extremely close.  they play together, sleep together, and when Aslan, or Azzy as i call him, was being secluded to one room for behavior modification, Pannda lay outside the door of the room Azzy was in. 

neither of these boys will do well at all trying to transition over to life in an RV in such close proximity to all the other critters.  the priority here, is to do what is best for them, and a local rescue i have worked with many times, ARF is going to help me with finding them a good, adequate, loving home that meets all these 2 boys needs.

needless to say, i’m still really bummed. 

pannda "laugh" (yawn really but looks more like laugh)

Pannda puts up with Azzy’s crazy antics of playing; the yowling and his unique game of attack the other kitty (other kitty being Pannda).  Pannda is a very good brother and so i couldn’t bare taking him away from Azzy.  Pannda on the other hand, is quite entertaining with his “hefty” weight, which the vet would like to see reduced (another reason for rehoming).  he will lie on his back on the floor, bearing a slight resemblance to a tootsie roll.  he also loves giving the dogs a run for their money, and well never pass up the opportunity to chase a jingle ball.  (it’s pretty cute!)  the 2 together will make someone a loving kitty family. (but it’s still hard.  i had hoped to keep us all together)

Murphy, who i just blogged about not too long ago, has been chosen for rehoming because she is the one who will do best at adjusting to a new home of all the kitties here at PK.  she’s very loving and attentive-one of the reasons why she did so well as a therapy kitty-and takes changes in life on the chin.  she came from a local rescue.  i believe they found her @ around 4 weeks old or so, and she is what i call a superkitty.  nothing really ever phases her, and she just rolls with the punches.  of all the critters here at PK, Murphy never really felt like she was “my kitty” and maybe that’s the way it was s’posed to be, as she was never meant to stay forever.  once again, ARF is stepping in with her also, and is helping to find her a home, or foster until a permanent home comes along.  altho not as hard as rehoming Pannda and Azzy, I still can’t help but feel like that I have somehow failed these 3 kitties.  i suppose it could be worse, and i could be loosing everyone, and i’m fortunate that that’s not going to happen, but i still can’t help but be heartbroken.

beautiful Murphy

sigh…well i’m off.  it probably wouldn’t hurt for me to start doing some packing tnight.  the days will be busy ahead of me until 2/2.  i’ll be selling things and taking stuff to auction before then, and “downsizing” as much as I can, not to mention dealing with school and searching for a motorhome along with work now, strictly in the big city. 

i will continue to blog and keep u all appraised of things as they develop.  please keep Planet Kitty in your prayers.  the next few weeks are going to be very challenging to say the least.

Two Blogs for the Price of One!! (Value Value Value)

In today’s economy, it’s all about value value value!!  So today’s blog will be “2 for the price of one”!  Ok…I know reading my blog is free, but imagine how much time you’ll save having 2 different subjects discussed in one entry rather than having to come back at a later date to read the second?  🙂  So I give you time effeciency,  VALUE….SAVINGS….DOUBLING OF THE FREE FREE FREE!!  And you can say that Planet Kitty brought it to you! 

Topic #1!! 

I have never really said much about the kitty in my header here at Planet Kitty, and I figured today was the day!  His name is Pannda and he’s close buddies with another kitty named Aslan.  Both cats are special needs.  Aslan moreso than Pannda.  They are about half a year apart and their ages run six and six and half with Aslan being the oldest.  I have had both kitties since they were kittens.  Aslan has been special needs since he came to me as a kitten, in that he’s what I can best describe as developmentally delayed.  His issues include problems with bladder infections and using the litterbox, being developmentally behind other kitties, socially withdrawn and not able to handle much human attention, and spontaneous howling, as in prowling my hall at any given time and yowling his head off basically.  He has come a long ways tho and has made alot of progress.  However, the infections are chronic and part of it is due to stress living in a home with many other pets.  He is on a special diet that helps tremendously, but it was finally recommended to me this spring that he be rehomed in to reduce his stress, resulting in fewer infections.

Pannda is special needs because he’s also had severe bladder problems.  Actually his first infection turned into a major rager where he had to be rushed to the emergency vet to be unblocked, and later to have surgery on his bladder to clean out the crystals that had developed from the infection.  The vet said she was literally scooping out what looked like sand in his bladder.  He is also on the same special diet as Aslan to prevent any future crystal development that could lead to another major blockage.  Pannda also has a bit of an obesity problem, and in a household with multiple cats, it’s hard to manage his special diet without it leading to unwanted weight loss in the other kitties.  But asides from that, it was decided to rehome Pannda WITH Aslan due to the fact that they are so close.  They sleep together and play together, and when Aslan was being put through behavior modification by being seperated from the other kitties, Pannda would lie outside the door of the room Aslan was in. 

Both cats are very shy, and so the transition of being rehomed will be challenging enough without the additional challenge of being seperated.  These two kitties mean alot to me, and I will miss them tremendously, but what’s in the best interests of their own health must come first. 

The cats have been listed for some time with a local rescue group, and we finally have a special person who is very interested in them.  The adoption process will take awhile, but should the interested party turn out to meet all the necessary qualifications, Pannda and Aslan will soon have a great new home where they will be spoiled and loved by someone who will be able to provide fantastically for them and provide a more suitable environment for their needs.  For this, I am really happy!  (Even tho I’ll probably be crying hard when they do go) 😦

Pannda who is full of mischief@

Pannda as a teeny kitten. who knew he'd grow up to tip the scales at almost 19lbs??!!

pannda playing with the green ball he loves!

Aslan who's favorite pastime is sleeping!

one of my few really good pics of Aslan who don't like having his picture taken!

pannda with a close shave/attemptin

pannda with a close cut/attempting to share with Aslan...move over!!

Aslan modeling the latest in santa fashions...i think he was in shock when i put this on and that's why i was able to get this shot! lol

Any potential new owner will thoroughly understand the commitment they need to make to these two kitties; that Pannda loves belly rubs and his green ball, and that Aslan is a unique kitty but that when he shows you affection you will know that it was worth the wait!

Animal Rescue Foundation of the Roaring Fork Valley, in the same county where I live has been awesome in being patient and helping me find the right home for these guys.  They have survived my changes of mind, panic attacks and fears surrounding the rehoming of these guys, and for that I”m truly thankful.  I will keep you updated on their situation!  🙂

Topic #2!

I normally wouldn’t even consider blogging about something like this but the blog I HAVE CAT, by Tamar Arslanian kinda inspires me plus i’m just bursting at the seams over this! LOL  However, I do wanna say that Tamar has been very helpful with giving advice concerning the development of my blog, and it was hers that inspired me to relocate my blog and get really serious about writing.    So’s the news.  Tamar I think I’ve met someone!!  😀  This is no easy feat in my neck of the woods, being a single gal in her 40s, (and no I will not be more specific on that number-you’re lucky to get me to even admit the range i’m located in!)  It’s all bright shiny and new altho he and I have been friends for some time.  However, if you’re local to where I’m located and see me walking down the street with a big stupid grin on my face, you will know why, as everything else in my life this year, being employed, my home, animals, etc., have been completely in limbo what with wanting to sell my house, but not being able due to the market, trying to fight off the possibility of forclosure by finding new employment quickly and a whole bunch of other stuff that has been like MAJOR bad luck-the only way I know how to explain it. 

No I won’t reveal more about him here as he has a right to privacy too, altho maybe…maaayyybee i will share some details as things develop down the line but since this blog is about animals and rescue primarily, I intend to keep it minimal.  Maybe someday I’ll start a seperate blog about being a single,  middle aged, colorado mtn girl however it’s very unlikely!  LOL  sorry. 

Anyways… that your double value blog.  Please keep reading!  I love having you!  🙂