Decisions

*This and a few following posts, the exact number unknown at this time, are a retelling as accurate as I can give of the several recent dramatic events of my life which have been full of some of the most traumatic experiences that I have ever made it through, but which also  lead to some of the most profound and startling realizations and epiphanies of my life.  While these entries are not directly about animals themselves, the animals in my own life were impacted greatly by the events that occurred, as well as many of these events causing me to examine the predicaments of  the various animals that come into “shelters” and animal control centers everywhere.  I have chosen to be brutally honest, and realize while some may judge me, others will appreciate my honesty and hopefully a few will maybe learn something from my experiences.   The specifics of which ALL  will come to be revealed in the the telling of my story.*

Kelly Jo in happier days with fellow Planet Kitty cat Merry.

Kelly Jo in happier days with fellow Planet Kitty cat Merry.

i had been to the Eagle County Shelter before.  it was a no kill facility, but didn’t post the adoptables on Petfinder, which I had issues with.  the reputation was a good one tho, and i knew that my pets were in good hands.  i was anxious to get things in order tho, and depart.

the control officer wanted to speak with me first, and i waited, growing even more anxious.

2 dogs and four of my cats were in his keep.  he said they were all doing great.  he felt that two of my dogs,  Ave’ and Kelly, were a bit on the thin side, and i explained how they had recently recovered from a bout of giardia.  giardia is a bacteria that’s fairly common in colorado and is easily picked up by both dogs and cats.  once it’s in their system, it can be difficult to get rid of.     i had been working on getting them back up to par for some time.  once a dog picks up the bacteria, it is with them forever, and can flair up for no reason. .

i explained this too him and he understood.  he gave me some requirements as far as getting everyone updated on rabies vaccinations, and said he would “check back in” with me as to how everyone was doing come april.

i had been thinking alot about Kelly Jo and her circumstances while I was in jail, and I had also been thinking about Ave’.  Ave’, being a border collie mix, loved to stay busy and had developed the habit of “herding” the kitties at times.  because of this, i had previously been considering re-homing her on a ranch where she could be taught further herding skills, but would also be kept as an inside dog when not working.  i just didn’t feel it was fair to her to be kept in the house all day without much to do, and what with recent events, I had now been thinking about Kelly Jo and what would be best for her as well.

Ave' Maria who could be a bit shy

Ave’ Maria who could be a bit shy

i spoke to shawn about my concerns about both dogs, and that i had made the decision to find better homes for them.  he said that they were full, and wouldn’t be able to help me with my decision for a few weeks.  i explained i just couldn’t bear to take Kelly Jo back home and have to place her in the kennel when I went to work the next day after what she’d already been thru.  i also felt it would be more cruel to send them home with me, and then have them have to go thru further trauma of having to be separated from me again, not to mention that it would make things alot more difficult for me as well; emotionally.  i just couldn’t bear the idea of having to look into their faces a few weeks down the road; and then leaving them behind.  it was far too cruel.  not to mention having to make Kelly Jo have to face being in the kennel while i was at work.

shawn stepped out for a minute, and came back saying that they could go ahead and keep the two dogs.  i decided to keep my third dog, Shyler, because being a Newfoundland mix, she sleeps alot and is much more mellow overall.  being at home during the day wasn’t difficult for her since she slept so much.

the four kitties were rounded up , and along with Shyler, were loaded into my little car.  Pannda, Ashley, Moose, and Bethany all looked pretty shaken up.  they also all cried the ride home, but were relieved to return to familiar surroundings once home.

rather than transfer the kitties from the rescues crates to mine, Shawn felt it was better to just let me use theirs.  he would retrieve them later.

i was an emotional mess!  i had just relinquished two members of my furry family, and was deeply shaken.  once home, i fed everyone and went and hid in bed.  no cleaning done.  no trying to correct the evidence of what had occurred in the trailer over the last few days.  i just wanted to climb into bed with my furrbabies around me.  it gave me security.  the kitties would climb into different crevices of the blankets on the bed, and Ashley always perched on top on my hip.

one of the many pile ups i have always found so comforting

one of the many pile ups i have always found so comforting

this time, there were missing bodies tho.  Kelly Jo usually joined me and the cats on the bed, and Ave’ was always at my right hand against the bed sleeping.  those two missing bodies left me feeling a bit hollow, but then i thought of the blood on the living rooms walls and knew that i had done right by both Kelly and Ave’.

i would not sleep well thru the night.  i had not taken some of my medication and that lead to dreams about the dogs and imaginings of what they had gone thru while i was in jail.  other images that came to mind were the cats fleeing in terror while animal control was in here chasing them.  i woke up feeling almost as exhausted as i had when i lied down.   i couldn’t crawl back under the covers and hide, tho.  i had to get up, shower, and get to my recently new job.

i climbed into the shower and took comfort in the hot water.  i looked forward to returning to the new job, and hopefully some sense of routine returning to my life after the previous 4 days, and the loss of my two dogs.  however, what was up ahead of me just a couple of days down the road, was anything but “routine”.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s