Home Again

*This and a few following posts, the exact number unknown at this time, are a retelling as accurate as I can give of the several recent dramatic events of my life which have been full of some of the most traumatic experiences that I have ever made it through, but which also  lead to some of the most profound and startling realizations and epiphanies of my life.  While these entries are not directly about animals themselves, the animals in my own life were impacted greatly by the events that occurred, as well as many of these events causing me to examine the predicaments of  the various animals that come into “shelters” and animal control centers everywhere.  I have chosen to be brutally honest, and realize while some may judge me, others will appreciate my honesty and hopefully a few will maybe learn something from my experiences.   The specifics of which ALL  will come to be revealed in the the telling of my story.*


from the outside, my trailer appeared the same.  the door as well, but it was what was on the inside that would leave an impact.  as i opened the door and reached for the hall light, the first thing that hit me was the smell.  my sisters said that Shyler had let go her bladder when they came in saturday, and that she had done the same thing again when they arrived on sunday.

Shyler is a large dog: a new foundland mix.  she’s very sweet, but has always been leary of strangers.  back at the previous home, she had developed a bad habit of running out into the street and barking at people as they walked by.  i had begun putting her on a tie out when i was out in the yard with her, because i was worried she would take it farther than just barking, but when confronted inside by someone she doesn’t know, submissive peeing is one of her responses.  it was also obvious she had pee’d more than just twice, as a narrow trail was visible across the carpet.  there was also dark brown smears of what could have been blood on the carpet as well, altho my sisters didn’t know where that came from.

the next thing to hit me was visual, and it was blood.  my sisters had told me about Kelly Jo’s tail, and i had already known that she was prone to “worrying” on it when in her crate while i was at work, but nothing could have prepared me for what I was now seeing.  there was blood sprayed on the door, the walls, on the side of the cubbards, and counter.  there was blood on the sprayed on the kitchen wall, the “back” door and even down the wall in the hallway and also the shorter hallway to my room.  and her crate, there was blood everywhere on the sides, inside the crate.  i swallowed hard.  i felt awful and could only imagine what Kelly jo went thru, not to mention having to be put back in the crate when my sisters left saturday.  my one sister said she couldn’t figure out why she picked at her tail saturday after they left when they were coming back sunday.  i explained to her that Kelly Jo didn’t know that.  all she knew was that she had to go back in the crate, and for all she knew she was going to be left there forever.

“oh” was the response.


the odor and the blood put my dogs and what they had gone thru at the forefront of my mind.  that wasn’t all tho.

slowly kitties were starting to appear here and there.  Teddy was behind the curtains on a window ledge.  the look on his face was one of fear.  the kitchen’s cubbard doors were all open, and the drawers had all been pulled out and were in a stack.  doors to the closets in my room were left open, and even the closet in the spare room that was closed off from everything was open.  things were knocked over and disheveled.  that’s not to say that things aren’t already kinda a mess and chaotic in my house but this was moreso than usual.  (i feel that i have some kind of chaotic organizational way of doing things that makes sense to me but no one else).

the twins, Emily and Charlotte, wouldn’t let me near them, and Charlotte didn’t look good at all.  Azzy was keeping everything and everyone at a distance too, and it would take a good 24 hours before we all got back to something closer to our usual routine.

i was surprised by how affected Teddy had been by the whole ordeal. he kept crying every once in awhile, and I had to reassure him everything was ok both vocally and with a few pets: this from a cat who usually didn’t wanna be touched!



seeing the chaos, blood, and the odor upset me.  what upset me even more was that having someone in here to catch the cats had been more of an exercise in “cat terrorism” for them, than anything else, and i swore they would never experience something like that again.  i was also not very happy with the shelter gen either, as i really didn’t feel that it was necessary to be in such a hurry.  setting up live traps with food would have been much easier on them.  what was he in such a hurry for?  they sure weren’t going anywhere!

i was relieved i was home.  i was also glad i would be picking up my kitties tomorrow.  they had 4 in custody.  Moose, Pannda, Ashley and Bethany.  and i knew that the animal control officer wanted to see me.  he’d left messages a couple of places for me.  i would be calling him first thing in the morning.

it got late quickly and i knew i needed to crash and get up early to deal with the many items on my plate that were still hanging.  the state of the trailer as well as the look of shock on the kitties faces made it difficult to fall asleep, tho, and Teddy would cry periodically and need reassurance from me that everything was going to be ok.  that night, he slept at the top of the pillow above my head.  something he’s never ever done before.  i had never seen him like this before!  it was apparent that having the animal rescue people in the house and them trying to catch them, pursue them, had been very traumatic.  course, these kitties were inside only kitties and not exposed to alot of people, living with me.

i was very concerned about Charlotte as well.  she wouldn’t eat and just curled up on the bed and went to sleep.  she had staggered about earlier looking spacey.  thsi was not like her as she usually had a good appetite, and would even beg for nibbles of anything i was eating.  Charlotte and her sister Emily weighed about 5lbs, max, each and probably less, more like around 4, so i was going to be up and down checking on her through-out the night as well.



oh lordy!  my poor babies!

tuesday morning came and with it me up at around 9 or 10 am on the phone making calls that needed to be made.  one of the first was to the eagle county animal control to find out when would be a good time for me to meet up with Shaun, the gentleman who had taken the dogs and 4 cats into custody.  i knew he wanted to talk to me, and i also would spend a good part of the day, off and on, thinking about my dogs.

i was also extremely worried about my cats he had in custody.  i knew that of the 4, Pannda would be having the hardest time in the shelter environment.

the eagle county shelter didn’t have rooms that let the cats be free roaming.  all their kitties that were up for adoption, were in glass cages with their beds, food and water on display for the public to see.  i didn’t care for this environment for kitties, and i was pretty darn  sure that they were in cages in the back too; not much unlike what i had experienced at the jail but with even less room to move around in than i’d had proportionately speaking.  Pannda was a big kitty too, weighing in at 18 lbs approximately.



i spoke briefly with the animal control officer and we set up for me to come by later that afternoon after 3pm.

meanwhile, i would be busy making phones calls to various organizations that i had to make, and also, first thing that morning, i had my unemployment hearing to appeal the decision for denying benefits from my last job.  ironically, my former employer didn’t even show up for the hearing, so overall it all took about 37 minutes!

My "pack" with foster dog Pixie in the hat (Kelly Jo my pibble mix, Shyler, and Avé Maria the border collie mix)

My “pack” with foster dog Pixie in the hat in ’11(Kelly Jo my pibble mix, Shyler, and Avé Maria the border collie mix)

it was strange not having the dogs here, and the state in which Kelly’s crate was in was almost haunting.  strangely, i could not bring myself to start cleaning the blood off the walls either.  it was like if i ignored it, then maybe i wouldn’t have to accept what all had gone on here. in between every phone call i made and the various people that i spoke to, tho, my mind was preoccupied with my surroundings and how the previous events had managed to push one of my dogs to the brink.  i felt so anyways.  and tomorrow.  tomorrow when i went back to work, i would have to crate Kelly Jo again so that she didn’t get into mischief or eat something that could potentially hurt her, and yet, how could i put her back into the exact same predicament that drove her crazy?  even if it meant i was going to be home later?  i pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind and focused on the tasks at hand.  it would work, for various periods of time, with reality sneaking back in.

i eventually showered and got dressed, and at 2:45 i headed east down the road, in my car loaded with crates, to eagle to pick up my missing family.

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