Doors

*This and a few following posts, the exact number unknown at this time, are a retelling as accurate as I can give of the last five days of my life which have been full of some of the most traumatic experiences that I have ever made it through, but which also  lead to some of the most profound and startling realizations and epiphanies of my life.  While these entries are not directly about animals themselves, the animals in my own life were impacted greatly by the events that occurred, as well as many of these events causing me to examine the predicaments of  the various animals that come into “shelters” and animal control centers everywhere.  I have chosen to be brutally honest, and realize while some may judge me, others will appreciate my honesty and hopefully a few will maybe learn something from my experiences.   The specifics of which ALL  will come to be revealed in the the telling of my story.*

prisondoors

if there’s one thing there’s an abundant supply of in jail, it’s doors.  on the way into the Garfield facility, i would go thru three of them, and on the way out when being released I would go thru three more.

upon arrival at the garfield county jail, the transport van pulled into another garage where upon i was unloaded and escorted into the initial booking room.  here they find out preliminary information about you such as any health problems, medications you’re taking, birthdate, address, social security number, etc.  they also go thru any belongings you have on you, search you again, and then have you go thru a second set of doors into the room where you issue you your inmate clothing.

thru out this entire period of time, my anxiety disorder was kicking in full time.  i couldn’t stop crying and also couldn’t stop panicking over the fate of my furbabies at home.

upon arrival, the eagle county deputies who transported me figured there was enuff time to see the judge and get everything straightened out.  the female deputy even patted me on the shoulder and said not to worry that it’d all get straightened out.  no so.

after changing into prison garb, a chambray jumpsuit in light and dark blue stripes and orange tennis shoes, i was handed a thin mattress that was to be my bed for the next 3 days, and two blankets.  i was told at the big booking desk, that i wouldn’t be able to see anyone that friday.  and most likely i wouldn’t go before the judge until monday or tuesday.

“my pets!”  i told them.  “i have pets!  two dogs are in their crates at my home!  you can’t just leave them like that or not feed my pets!”

“we’ll see what we can do” they told me and placed me in a cell.  this is when i went thru my third door at the jail; the door to the little room that was going to be my home for at that time, an unknown yet to be determined period of time.

identical to the door of my cell.

identical to the door of my cell.

the room i was placed in was about 12 feet deep by 12 feet high and about 8 feet wide.  it came with a toilet and small sink that were connected.  at the back of the cell was a concrete bench where you placed the bed roll they gave you, or me actually.  on the wall, there was another one of the phones like i used back at the previous sheriff’s office.  it didn’t have a handset, just a general speak to speak thru and a dialing pad to call anyone collect.  you pushed a black button, waited for the dial tone and then punched in the number.  you couldn’t call anyone direct.  regardless whether they were local or otherwise.  all calls were collect and they were thru a special company that charged outrageously by the minute!  i ran thru people thru my head and could think of no one who had land lines i could call.  finally my sister’s home number dawned on me and i dial.  she accepted the charges.  when they put they call thru, they tell the party you’re calling that your an inmate of whatever jail you’re in, so you can imagine what my sis was thinking.

“Lu Anne??!!  it says your an inmate of the garco jail?”  my sis asked.

“yes”.  i explained the situation, the charges, that they were saying i couldn’t use a bondsman because it was a cash only bond, and no bondsman would touch it.  she couldn’t understand.  it was all so bizarre.  i hadn’t caused any property damage to anyone’s property in Rifle, and just could no figure it out.

my sis said she was going to have to call our other sister and brother and would see what they could find out and do.  i hung up, and then began calling bondsmen again to see if by some miracle someone couldn’t get me out.  i had to get home to my furr family!!

it wasn’t long before word got out to all the local bondsman that my bond was cash only and they couldn’t help.  from paying some attention to what was going on out in booking and the phone calls coming in.  most bondsmen didn’t take the phone call charges to speak with u, just found out your name and called booking to find out the details of the bond.

while on the phone, dinner was served, but i wasn’t interested.  too upset, crying jags like crazy, and still trying to figure  a way to get out of there.   i called me sister back to get an update.  i was a mess!  she told me that they had found out more details on the charges and that it was what looked like a warrant brought by the city in attempts to try and pursue criminally a settlement on a law suit they had brought against me earlier last year for failure to remove weeds and refuse at my old house.  i had told the judge at that time i was going to be moving and i had also told him i was filing bankruptcy and that this would be included in the bankruptcy filing.  the judge had even given me extra time to file the bankruptcy and to see how it would turn out.  apparently tho, the courts and the city’s patience were not one of their better attributes and so they decided to put out the warrant in january.

similar to our jumpsuits

similar to our jumpsuits

my sis also said they had found an attorney, his name, and that he was looking for just this kind of case.  they said that he would call monday with the number to reach him at and i could call him collect.

“monday??!!”  but my pets!!!”

“we’re probably not going to be able to get you out of their until monday or tuesday” she said.

sis said that they would heading up to my home tomorrow, saturday afternoon to take care of them, and keep an eye on em over the weekend.  this was no small feat for them, as i was about 4 hours away from where they lived, and a winter storm was moving in.  i was to call them 8am the following morning if i could to check in and update them on any other info they needed.

while i managed to control my anxiety somewhat while on the phone, there were periods where the crying was so hard, it caused my stomach to cramp.  my sister tried to comfort me as much as possible, but that’s pretty hard to do over a phone.

we hung up as they only allowed calls to last 2o minutes max.  i started crying again and laid down on my “bed”.  i wanted out of here!  i just wanted to go home to my animals!  pet them.  pull them close.  climb into bed, and have the kitties crawl on top and around me like they did every night!

a kitty pile up on my bed.  one of their habits i find extremely comforting especially when i'm included!

a kitty pile up on my bed. one of their habits i find extremely comforting especially when i’m included!

tossing and turning on my mat, i continued to cry.  my nose ran like crazy, and there was nothing but the blankets or suit to wipe it on.  no matter how hard i tried, i couldn’t calm down!  my babies!!! my babies!!!  i had HAD to do something to get out of here!  hospital!!! if i was injured severely, they would have to release me to the hospital.  i looked around for something sharp.  anything.  i examined my arms, creating a plan.  i recently had blood taken at the dr’s for routine testing.  it was nothing for them to puncture the skin and hit a vein on the inside of my elbow.  it just might work!!!  there was no mirror or any kind of sharp edges in the cell that could be used.  then i saw the cup that they had given me with soap, a small toothbrush, toothpaste and a small comb.  i grabbed the comb.  the end of it were sturdy enough that they might be able to serve my purpose.  i began digging at the skin with the pointed end.  the small plastic pik end, broke.  great!!  i examined the other end.  it was a bit thicker; more solid.  and sturdier.  i began digging again.  of course, it wasn’t pleasant.  it hurt.  but i was determined, and the end of the comb was working!!  i continued to work a small hole in the skin of the inside of my elbow, searching and hoping to soon hit a vein………..

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2 thoughts on “Doors

  1. O.O well…though i cannot say i approve of the method i know the desperation you were coming from with that. It just breaks my heart to think of you locked in a cell. Once again, i am sorry you had to go through this all, people like you should be treasured not abused.

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