Greta is now fully at peace, and i feel assured in my decision, especially after talking to my sister yesterday, and hearing what her kitty who just passed went through. poor Poudre really suffered. she was 19 years old. just shy a month or so of 20, but her last days were bad, and i’m glad that i was able to spare Greta that suffering. Meanwhile, after Greta’s passing and my sis’s cat passing, my father has now been admitted to the hospital and we have no idea what’s wrong with him.
because of all this, i am parting from my normal blogs about pets, to talk about something completely unrelated to any of these subjects.
as some or many of you know, i’m a single woman, and as a single woman, i do attempt to “get out there” and date. i once again recently decided to try dipping a toe in the pond (pond being a metaphor for online dating), and here is what i would like to know:
WHERE HAVE ALL THE REAL MEN GONE?
i mean…seriously. i give you my experiences so far. the first guy i spoke with, i soon discovered is currently living with his xwife and they are raising their grandchildren together, now, i’m generally not one to judge, but he then goes on to tell me he’s unemployed, was in the computer tech business-self employed- and hasn’t had work in quite sometime. he describes himself as a jack of all trades, but when i made the suggestion that he try going down to the workforce center where he can get retrained in a new career for free…well he liked the suggestion but hasn’t done anything with it.
ok first problem: he’s living with his xwife. yes i know times are hard and have hit many of us really hard, but…come on! do u really think that you’re gonna get taken seriously trying to meet someone when this is your living arrangement? 😐
second problem: he really doesn’t seem motivated to do anything about his lack of work. i mean you have to wanna help yourself some. and while i’m sympathetic to his lack of work situation, especially since i have the same situation, you gotta at least try!
third problem: guy number one conacts me on valentine’s day and spend the majority of the time whining alot about being lonely, having a hardtime meeting anyone, etc. this is just not a turn on. last thing i’m looking for is someone desperate, and to all the fellas out there who think they can use a relationship to get themselves out of a rut…yeah sorry! i pass!
one point in this guy’s favor? he likes cats and even has one. albeit, for all i know, it’s really his xwife’s cat and he’s using it to score some points with me.
guy number two. he’s a part time drummer in a band and takes care of a gent with severe MS. he has a dog named luigi, and loves animals. preliminarily he gets points for being a caretaker of someone with a disability, loving animals, and being an artist. we email back and forth a few times and then graduate to texting. he invites me to come see him play on a friday night at a local bar his band is playing at, but i can’t find anyone to go with me, and the idea of sitting there alone for the majority of the night in a bar is anything but inspiring. so instead i suggest a playdate sometime down the road for our dogss. number 2 doesn’t tell me a whole lot about himself in hopes to entice me into meeting him that friday night or some other night soon, so i take to doing some research on the internet, and find out some info on number 2.
problem 1: not really crazy about the music his band plays
problem 2: from experience, i can tell that this guy has his “fun” with groupies, etc. so i’m not in any hurry or willing to make any great effort on my part to rush into a face to face with him. i mean come on! what band member DOESN’T have fun with the groupies?? 😉
guy number 2 and i don’t speak for about a week and a half, when he starts texting me again. he once again asks me to come down and meet up this last sunday night and jokingly refers to it as a “booty call”. (not a good idea when ur a drummer in a band with groupies, much less any guy, period) i had spent the day getting unstuck from a snowbank up in the mountains and didn’t really feel like an hour roadtrip so no was my response. plus, if he really wants to meet me so bad, shouldn’t he be driving up here to meet me?
problem 3. sometime that night, guy number 2 informs me that he doesn’t think he’s meant to be in a relationshhip so he’s decided to “have fun”. i then discover that he’s been rated by a cppl of gals he’s met in person on the dating site and i read what they have to say, and it turns out one, who’s somewhat bitter, credits part of her bitterness, to her involvement with guy # 2.
problem #4. at some point that night, guy #2 texts to me something along the lines of “well u will never know or meet me” which i don’t know if that means he’s decided not to ever meet me-because he texts soooo long after what i say sometimes that i have no idea what he’s referring to! anyways…to me it now appears as if he’s sulking because i won’t do what he wants, and so………….hrrmmph!
hence, my question where are all the real men?
what happend to the guy that knew what he wanted, wasn’t lazy, and went for it whether it was some giant romantic gesture, or…whatever? where are all the men who understand that being a man isn’t only making money and providing for what’s his, but that it means being emotionally mature as well? that if it needs fixin’ not only applies to the “things’ in their lives, but applies to themselves emotionally as well?
maybe i shouldn’t be asking where are all the real men, but were there ever any real men to begin with??
i picture a man who isn’t afraid to be nurturing as well as physically strong. a man who really can be honest, and not give you what i call a “politician’s” answer, or a response to a serious question that is extremely vague and leaving u asking “what the f**k?? huh?? while starring blankely into their face. 😐
this was my experience with my last boyfriend, who we’ll call tj…because his name is tj, and he was quite good at it. if anything, he wasn’t able to give a straight up honest answer. responding yes or no to a yes or no question was virtually impossible for him to do! and it seems like this is becoming a new trend for single men everywhere, as i’m now encountering it back in the good old dating world.
now don’t get me wrong, i don’t need some major muscle head like the guy holding the kitten in the pic above. afterall, i’m realistic. i’m well into my 40’s and would happily settle for a sweet average guy who loves animals and is will to be the hero of my dreams and mine alone.
every now and then, tho, i will spot one of those heros! they are very rare. and i think the feds should give serious consideration to starting a list of “real heros” and doing whatever they possibly can to keep them from becoming thoroughly extinct. ( just like what we did for the bald eagle!) I give you one that i was made aware of recently, him being “the guy who resues cats from trees”. he was recently featured on the show “Must Love Cats”
and then there are always the guys of Rescue Ink. However, the majority of them are already taken.
but the pickins’ seem to be getting thinner and thinner, and i find myself waxing poetic with the lyrics from bonnie tyler’s “i need a hero” running through my head!! yanno…”i need a hero! i’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night!” uhuh…that one! (gotsa love the 80s)
so where does all this leave me? well presently, with all sortsa profiles of myself on dating sites, and me kicking back in my big cushie, well padded rocker, listening to bonnie as i cuddle with my critters and dream….dream of that one special hero….ahh someday……..sigh….