Simple

 such a beautiful word!  well at least to me it is.  ya see i yearn for things to be simple in my life.  for so long, it’s been crazy.  up and down. backwards, forwards, sideways…… and just plain crazy! 

a few weeks ago i was rushing about trying to get everyone and everything packed and relocated to our alternative housing up the road in the town of Grand Junction, Colorado, only to be waylaid by the news early morning of march 16th, that the foreclosure of the house had been postponed until april 13.  I literally collapsed, and when i mean collapsed, i mean passed out for about 10 hours and then was so tired for about 4 days that i hardly did anything but eat and sleep, and feed the animals as needed.  (that’s what occurs sometimes when u have firbromyalgia and push yourself  ALOT)

prior to this, i had gotten the trailer i purchased moved to the park we would be located in, had also rented another uhaul loaded with all sorts of goodies of ours (still after several auctions and yardsales this last summer i’m still left with 2 uhaul trailers plus of STUFF!  ugh)  and hauled that down to GJ and unloaded it with still more to be moved back at the house.  it’s amazing how much we accumulate over 13 years in one spot, and the amazing thing is, the majority of this was not furniture, but clothes, bedding, personal stuff, and items will great family sentimentality.  (it currently pretty much all occupies the living room sitting in 2 gigantic piles :S) .  let me intercede here that friends helped, and helped greatly thank goodness because if i hadn’t received their help, i would have been more behind and even deeper in packing and moving, etc.

not this one. ours is much bigger

so the trailer sits on our new lot in the park in GJ, not attached to utilities, locked up, and with some of my “stuff” in it.  most noteably and most needed, the majority of my underwear and interview clothes, which i will be fetching tomorrow.  2/3s of our life there, and 1/3 of my life here, either way i still have sorting and packing and moving of some kind to do. 

to complicate matters further, i was interviewed yesterday by the local walmart store and yes i know the endless extensive complicated feelings so many have about the company but i worked there for three years while in school, and was treated really well compared to many other places i have worked.   the store is filled with alot of returned faces from when i worked there as well, so i some ways,  the interview was kind of like a reunion of sorts, and i did enjoy it.  things have changed, most notably the company and how they do things, but the friends i have there, the good vibes, and the commaraderie are all still present.  how easy it would be to go back to work there.  how simple!  ahh yes there’s that word again.  that word i so love and crave to have the center of my life.  returning to work here, would mean i could apply and most likely recieve a loan modifcation on the house; it also means that i could sell the trailer and not only get back some of that cash, but pay back certain friends who have helped me in my time of crisis as well.  the house payment would probably be lowered enuff, that i could find a roommate and their cost of rent, would be enuff to cover the mortgage payment and even some of the utilities.  the minor repairs needed on the house could be done, along with the work needed to fix the water damage caused by the pipe burst during the major freeze we experienced end of january/begin feb of this year.   and some other changes could be made to the hosue to make it more suitable for the fur crew, such as a sliding door directly into the backyard that the dogs could use and part of the porch screened in that the cats could have access to in the summer months.  my how both dogs and kits would love these benefits!!

furthermore, the routine job would allow me to get back to what i really want to focus on; Greta’s Kingdom.  things have gotten so unbelieveably complcated that it’s almost a nightmare at this point, and i guess that’s why i just long for simple.  S-I-M-P-L-E.  it’s gotten so bad that i can literally see the stress of it on the dogs lately.  Kelly is broken out with some kind of rash, Shyler has a short temper with both Kelly and Ave, and Ave is not only hoarding stuff again ( a whole other blog entry needs to be dedicated to that subject!), but has picked up chewing inappropriate chewing matter (such as my favorite badhair day baseball cap), and is more tenacious about trying to “round up” the kitties at times.  altho i would also say, that some of this could probably be attributed to warmer weather and spring fever, altho the last few days have been anything but warm. 

simple and routine makes for a happy furcrew!

returning to the old workplace, would mean being able to set a routine.  a routine that would not only be better for the few crew, but would also allow me to recapture some of my sanity.  and believe me, i could really use some sane-ness right about now.  simple and routine…how lovely!  like water lilies floating on a pond!  peaceful and tranqil.  like….being surrounded by a bed of lavender and the theraputic effects the fragrance has on you:  ahhhhhh!  breath in, breath out.  breathe in, breathe out.  the steady beat of simplicity and routine.  how i love the image!  how much healthier and happier i can envision the furcrew!  how much more able i would be able to return to the goal of Greta’s Kingdom and focusing on that; working towards that!

don’t get me wrong.  i know i haven’t been made the offer to return to walmart yet, but i’m almost 99% positive of it being in my future.  and the house?  yes i realize the papers are far from being signed with respect to a loan modification, but i’m fairly certain of that as well.  and god knows it would mean i would have to move everything back here that i currently have in storage as well as the trailer.  neither of these things bother me; frustrate me nearly as much as the continued job search, applications, interviews, getting my hopes up, living in limbo, half of my stuff here half of it there-and there being a good 60 miles away-total chaos here…blah blah blah blah blah….such an UNBELIEVEABLY COMPLICATED!!  LIMBO!!  aaaagh!!!  with nothing being for certain, and having nothing that i can really rely upon. 

i want simple dammit!!!   SIMPLE!!!  ROUTINE!!!  i want to return to a certain constant of security.  it’s overdue.  (this is getting to the point of being completely unbearable!!!)  it’s desired.  wanted.  needed.  i demand it.  and so i wait.  we wait.  again with the waiting….grrrrr!!!  but this time i think there will finally be an answer, and an answer alot sooner than in the past.  and a certain answer.

so if u see me in walmart dress, stocking a shelf, with a great big grin on my face, don’t be surprised.  don’t accuse me of being a sell out, don’t think that for one second that i haven’t found my center again and haven’t finally been able to return to working on my dream: Greta’s Kingdom; and don’t think for one second that simple can’t be beautiful. 

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A Little Thing That Makes You Go !&*#$!!!

so was in the process of moving some laundry around in the kitchen when one of the cats knocked all my medications on the floor, and i intended to pick them up as soon as i finished with the wash, but then suddenly i hear crunching sounds, and turn around to find Kelly nonchalantly crunching on pills.  how many?  i don’t know!!!!  what kind?  i don’t know!!!  all i know is i need to get her to my vet pronto and it’s after 6pm and they close at 5pm!!!  fortunately i had just been on the phone with them and new they were still there.

so i slammed, not literally, the three dogs in the car and off to the vet we went, and i just managed to catch my vet befor she left.  THANK GOD!!! 

hey bartender!!! gimme another round to shoot with these pills! NOT!

imagine me banging on the door and imagine their concern when asnwering it and finding me with Kelly in hand, well on leash, after hours at their door in a major panic!!!  fortunately our vet was there and agreed to help out once hearing just exactly what Kelly had been up to! 

the estimation of just exactly what pills she had munched were determined to be three different possibilities.  one, wouldn’t cause any problems, but one of the other two, and also depending on how many could really be serious. 

first came the salt.  i had no idea but apparently this makes a dog puke.  they even gave her some saline water to wash it down with.  twenty minutes later, Kelly was happily wagging her tail, blissfully unaware and no where near ready to puke.  she just looks at us and wants to give kisses!

next came two shots of hydrogen peroxide.  apparently, this will also make a dog barf when u want them to.  shortly thereafter, Kelly’s head goes down and so does her tell, it looks like we may just suceed so we ventured outside and waited for her to produce the evidence of what she took. 

oooff! me not feel so good!

finally!  it looked like we hit paydirt!!  paydirt….whww wait a minute.  the little pooch is recovering!  once again her tail goes back up in the air and she gives us her oh so Kelly grin.  great…..

so my vet decides it’s time to bring out hte big guns!!!  and they take her in the back to administer charcoal as the last effort of making her puke.  and i’m wating patiently in the front.  out they bring her again, and another twenty minutes pass with no puking whatsoever.  apparently she has a steel gut!!!  she’s still happy go lucky everbody loves me Kelly and is not giving any kind of a sign of any kind of distress, intestinel or otherwise.  so one emergency vet visit and a $100 dollars later, the vet sends me home with one very charcoaly dog.    she was even so gracious to help them out by drinking down the stuff herself!!  😐 LOL

and so now we are home, and i have the dubious honor of keeping and eye on here to see what comes next.  she’s not worried.  she’s passed out on MY pillow! lol

Pardon me, I’m whining here!

Greta is now fully at peace, and i feel assured in my decision, especially after talking to my sister yesterday, and hearing what her kitty who just passed went through.  poor Poudre really suffered.  she was 19 years old.  just shy a month or so of 20, but her last days were bad, and i’m glad that i was able to spare Greta that suffering.    Meanwhile, after Greta’s passing and  my sis’s cat passing, my father has now been admitted to the hospital and we have no idea what’s wrong with him.

because of all this, i am parting from my normal blogs about pets, to talk about something completely unrelated to any of these subjects. 

as some or many of you know, i’m a single woman, and as a single woman, i do attempt to “get out there” and date.  i once again recently decided to try dipping a toe in the pond (pond being a metaphor for online dating), and here is what i would like to know:

WHERE HAVE ALL THE REAL MEN GONE?

i mean…seriously.  i give you my experiences so far.  the first guy i spoke with, i soon discovered is currently living with his xwife and they are raising their grandchildren together, now, i’m generally not one to judge, but he then goes on to tell me he’s unemployed, was in the computer tech business-self employed- and hasn’t had work in quite sometime.  he describes himself as a jack of all trades, but when i made the suggestion that he try going down to the workforce center where he can get retrained in a new career for free…well he liked the suggestion but hasn’t done anything with it. 

ok first problem:  he’s living with his xwife.  yes i know times are hard and have hit many of us really hard, but…come on!  do u really think that you’re gonna get taken seriously trying to meet someone when this is your living arrangement? 😐

second problem:  he really doesn’t seem motivated to do anything about his lack of work.  i mean you have to wanna help yourself some.  and while i’m sympathetic to his lack of work situation, especially since i have the same situation, you gotta at least try!

third problem: guy number one conacts me on valentine’s day and spend the majority of the time whining alot about being lonely, having a hardtime meeting anyone, etc.  this is just not a turn on.  last thing i’m looking for is someone desperate, and to all the fellas out there who think they can use a relationship to get themselves out of a rut…yeah sorry!  i pass!  

one point in this guy’s favor?  he likes cats and even has one. albeit, for all i know, it’s really his xwife’s cat and he’s using it to score some points with me. 

guy number two.  he’s a part time drummer in a band and takes care of a gent with severe MS.  he has a dog named luigi, and loves animals.  preliminarily he gets points for being a caretaker of someone with a disability, loving animals, and being an artist.  we email back and forth a few times and then graduate to texting.  he invites me to come see him play on a friday night at a local bar his band is playing at, but i can’t find anyone to go with me, and the idea of sitting there alone for the majority of the night in a bar is anything but inspiring.  so instead i suggest a playdate sometime down the road for our dogss.  number 2 doesn’t tell me a whole lot about  himself in hopes to entice me into meeting him that friday night or some other night soon, so i take to doing some research on the internet, and find out some info on number 2. 

guy #2's dog and oops! it's guido not luigi! lol

problem 1:  not really crazy about the music his band plays

problem 2: from experience, i can tell that this guy has his “fun” with groupies, etc.  so i’m not in any hurry or willing to make any great effort on my part to rush into a face to face with him.  i mean come on!  what band member DOESN’T have fun with the groupies?? 😉

guy number 2 and i don’t speak for about a week and a half, when he starts texting me again.  he once again asks me to come down and meet up this last sunday night and jokingly refers to it as a “booty call”.  (not a good idea when ur a drummer in a band with groupies, much less any guy, period)  i had spent the day getting unstuck from a snowbank up in the mountains and didn’t really feel like an hour roadtrip so no was my response.  plus, if he really wants to meet me so bad, shouldn’t he be driving up here to meet me? 

problem  3.  sometime that night, guy number 2 informs me that he doesn’t think he’s meant to be in a relationshhip so he’s decided to “have fun”.  i then discover that he’s been rated by a cppl of gals he’s met in person on the dating site and i read what they have to say, and it turns out one, who’s somewhat bitter, credits part of her bitterness, to her involvement with guy # 2. 

problem #4.  at some point that night, guy #2 texts to me something along the lines of “well u will never know or meet me” which i don’t know if that means he’s decided not to ever meet me-because he texts soooo long after what i say sometimes that i have no idea what he’s referring to!  anyways…to me it now appears as if he’s sulking because i won’t do what  he wants, and so………….hrrmmph!

hence, my question where are all the real men?

what happend to the guy that knew what he wanted, wasn’t lazy, and went for it whether it was some giant romantic gesture, or…whatever?   where are all the men who understand that being a man isn’t only making money and providing for what’s his, but that it means being emotionally mature as well?  that if it needs fixin’ not only applies to the “things’ in their lives, but applies to themselves emotionally as well?

maybe i shouldn’t be asking where are all the real men, but were there ever any real men to begin with??

i picture a man who isn’t afraid to be nurturing as well as physically strong.  a man who really can be honest, and not give you what i call  a “politician’s” answer, or a response to a serious question that is extremely vague and leaving u asking “what the f**k??  huh?? while starring blankely into their face.    😐

scott mcinnis former candiate for colorado governor who pledgerized tsk tsk tsk!

this was my experience with my last boyfriend, who we’ll call tj…because his name is tj,  and he was quite good at it.  if anything, he wasn’t able to give a straight up honest answer.  responding yes or no to a yes or no question was virtually impossible for him to do!  and it seems like this is becoming a new trend for single men everywhere, as i’m now encountering it back in the good old dating world.

now don’t get me wrong, i don’t need some major muscle head like the guy holding the kitten in the pic above.  afterall, i’m realistic.  i’m well into my 40’s and would happily settle for a sweet average guy who loves animals and is will to be the hero of my dreams and mine alone.   

average guy with kittens

every now and then, tho, i will spot one of those heros!  they are very rare.  and i think the feds should give serious consideration to starting a list of “real heros” and doing whatever they possibly can to keep them from becoming thoroughly extinct. ( just like what we did for the bald eagle!)  I give you one that i was made aware of recently,  him being “the guy who resues cats from trees”.  he was recently featured on the show “Must Love Cats”

and then there are always the guys of Rescue Ink.  However, the majority of them are already taken. 

  but the pickins’ seem to be getting thinner and thinner, and i find myself  waxing poetic with the lyrics from bonnie tyler’s “i need a hero” running through my head!!  yanno…”i need a hero!  i’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night!”  uhuh…that one!  (gotsa love the 80s)

so where does all this leave me?  well presently, with all sortsa profiles of myself on dating sites, and me kicking back in my big cushie, well padded  rocker, listening to bonnie as i cuddle with my critters and dream….dream of that one special hero….ahh someday……..sigh….